Realised that having went for that MYG Learning Day (talk on sexuality) someone should probably write something on it also. It has been ages since I last wrote anything intelligent (actually, I’m not sure if I ever wrote intelligent stuff before, but nvm) so please bear with the language and all.
Another thing to take note of is this: the venue is the same school which I graduated from, in the very same classroom which i had a few modules. So you can imagine me sitting at a desk with someone giving a lesson in front, it’s REALLY like going back to class all over again. Therefore, the natural thing for me is to go into ‘sleep mode’ about 30 secs in. Hence the lack of detail.
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The first part of the lesson (the first 30 secs which I was still awake) talked about how our intellectualy disabled trainees ae also able to feel emotions and sexual desires and sometimes display actions that are not very appropriate.
We can relate to this part as even I already know and seen some trainees’ actions going out of line, despite my relatively short time here (and I’ve only taken care of grp C trainees, so rightly or wrongly, I’m using the grp C trainees’ functionality to represent the functionality of BK’s trainees as a whole). However that is almost all tt is relevant to us (read: and then I fell asleep).
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The remainder of the session deals with higher functioning trainees, who are of a totally different nature from what we are used to dealing with. They are talking about trainees who are capable of having at least a functional conversation with you, trainees who are able to tell you that they are interested in someone in the opposite gender; who are able to listen to your reasoning that irresponsible sexual behavior is bad; who are able to surf the internet for porn and in one story, even get married.
It’s eye-opening for sure, but ultimately the ways to deal with the trainees (eg. teaching them the correct names for the various body parts, telling them about STDs) are generally not applicable to our project.
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I mentioned that part about teaching traines the correct name for body parts ie. call te private body by its proper english name instead of slangs like ‘bird’ or whatever. Apparantly, one important reason is that should trainees themselves ever become victims of sexual hararessment, they can tell the police clearly exactly where they are violated. This takes up another core of the session: highr functioning trainees are more prone to falling victim to sexual criminals. A stranger can offer them simple things like a coke or a burger first and somehow lead them to bed next. This could be due to the trainees feeling obligated to return the favour of that burger or coke (and not knowing where to draw the line), or maybe the trainees just want to make new friends.
Strategies to solve this problem include teaching trainees about what appropriate actions are with different people. (You can ‘shake hand’ with a ‘volunteer/teacher’, you can ‘high-five’ a ‘friend’, you can ‘hug’ your ‘parents’, you should ‘ignore’ ‘strangers’ and NEVER, EVER allow ANYONE to touch you – except for ‘parents’)
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I may have simplified things a little too much here, but as you might be able to tell, I felt tt a lot of things are not relevant nor applicable to us. That being said, there are still some interesting things to learn. Like how in other countries, some parents take their ID son to patronise sex workers to satisfy the son’s urges. Or how professional working people in the weekdays gather together and provide sexual services to the IDs in the weekends. (damn, i feel gross just typing that last sentence. it is one thing to know that there are cultures vastly different from ours. it’s another thing entirely to know – and accept – how far these differences can be)
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Another thing I am rather ashamed to admit is this. when i first joined BK, and someone was telling me that BK has the lower-functioning trainees, I remember thinking: “sian. that means more troublesome.” And over the sessions i do feel quite frustrated when i ask for simple things like “wash your plate”, “go for a walk” and i’m not sure if the trainees even understand what i say. Taking care of higher functioning trainees, I reckon, would have made the life of a volunteer so much easier.
Now i realise it’s not true. I learn that trainees with higher functionality just presents a more complex series of problems. I mean, the absolute most important question I can ask about the trainees I usually handle now is “do they know how to go to / use the toilet themselves?” That cannot be compared to, say, a higher functioning trainee coming and saying that he/she has been sexually violated or raped. Totally different nature. And this realisation would probably be the greatest take-away from this Learning Day.
-chenyang
PS. MAY edit and upload the PPT slides used for the session when able to find time
